Lyric of the Week: (early) Christmas Edition

Thanksgiving was nice

but I am more than ready for Christmas.

Why?

First off, Starbucks will finally ease up

on shoving their pumpkin agenda down my throat

and switch to peppermint pushing...which we all know is better.

Also,

it's what I like to call:

Snowboarding--End of fall semester--Mormon moms

bring my family lots of holiday treats 

and I gobble them all up

(the treats, not the nice Mormon ladies) 

until I look 11 months preggo--

Season.

Trust me, it's a glorious season

and I'm excited to spend it with my awesome family

and participate in more activities like this:

Isn't MY(grown)MOTHER hilarious?

We did this together last week.

In case you are blind, it reads:

Dear Santa,

I have been a very saintly girl this year.  

I only got drunk once...that anyone knows about. 

Tonight, I even helped Daddy put together 

all 347 butthole pieces of Jimmy's new Turboman.  

On the kitchen table, you'll find a plate of Truchbull Cake 

and a glass of milk.  And I hope your reindeer like broccoli. 

For Christmas, I'd really, really like an Ecstasy tablet. 

In particular, I'd love a new iPad and also Grandma's jewelry box, and maybe, if you're feeling especially generous,

a trip to Ben's hotel room (haha seriously, don't ask). 

Oh, and if you have any extra time,

please bring the kids a stripper pole. 

Yours, Horny Rachel 

Obviously, my family is very traditional.

Speaking of traditional,

have you heard that song The Drummer Boy?

You know, the classic song Justin Bieber sings 

and, oh hello...

Busta Rhymes spits a few lines in?

I'm proclaiming it my 2011 Xmas Anthem

and featuring some of the best lines

in 11.28.11's Lyric of the Week.

"Rum pa pa pum, rum pa pum pum pum pum.
Yeah I'm on the drum, yeah I'm on the snare drum.
Yeah I'm on the beat cause the beat goes dumb.
And I only spit heat cause I'm playin for the sun.
Playin for the king, playin for the title,
I'm surprised you didn't hear this in the Bible"

As heard in this poetic gem of a Christmas carol

 

Justin Bieber.  Rum pa pa YUM.