I am a hoarder.
Like stage 17.
The reason I'm writing this week's
is because it took me all yesterday to find out
this confession-worthy fact about myself.
My finals ended Tuesday and I was able to go back home
to good old Gilbert, AZ.
The next day, I decided it would be a good idea
to clean out my room
organize my closet, dresser, desk, shelves, etc.
I thought the project would take at most a couple hours
but my estimate was extremely off.
Because, like I previously mentioned,
I am one hardcore hoarder.
Over the years, I have managed to save just about everything,
particularly school assignments.
Let's take a closer look at some of the
items I found.
First off, HELLO RACHEL:
Check out that gap.
Evel Knievel couldn't jump that thing if he tried.
And do not worry,
I was just as special and dumb as I looked.
Here's a little questionnaire I filled out
as a fresh little 3rd grader.
Please pay close attention to the following:
- I most liked "spelling" in school, a close second to "readding"
- An interesting place I had visited? Sun Splash...in Mesa, AZ.
- If I could've been a famous person, I wanted to be *NSYNC
- My favorite celebrity? "98|:" AKA 98 Degrees.
Oh, it gets better.
Here is a "Planning for Personal Success" chart I also found.
When asked what I dream of doing for a job,
"I want to work at Sonic, but I might be a dentist"
By the looks of this country report on Japan,
even working at Sonic may be too lofty a goal.
Yes, there is still much to learn about Japan because I obviously did not try to learn
anything important about it in the first place.
So what if I was dumb.
At least I wasn't also narcissistic.
I personally think that +1 point was two points too generous.
I'm proud to say I grew out of that phase though.
I matured into a beautiful young lady
and wrote beautiful and thoughtful essays
to my parents on Mother's and Father's Day...
...or I simply copy and pasted the essay
and just changed
"mom" to "dad" and "potato salad" to "BBQ".
While we're on the subject of not growing up,
here's a physics test
from my junior year of high school.
Sorely confused as to what constitutes a celebrity.
Fast-food industry dreams.
Blind to the true beauty of Japanese culture.
Cookie-cutter essay writer.
Horrible test-taking flirt ball.
And now a hoarder.
What. A. Resume.