Confession Wednesday: Buried Alive Edition

Confession #5:

I am a hoarder.

Like stage 17.

The reason I'm writing this week's

Confession Wednesday 

on Thursday

is because it took me all yesterday to find out

this confession-worthy fact about myself.

My finals ended Tuesday and I was able to go back home

to good old Gilbert, AZ.

The next day, I decided it would be a good idea

to clean out my room

and

organize my closet, dresser, desk, shelves, etc.

I thought the project would take at most a couple hours

but my estimate was extremely off.

Why?

Because, like I previously mentioned,

I am one hardcore hoarder.

Over the years, I have managed to save just about everything,

particularly school assignments.

 Let's take a closer look at some of the

items I found.

First off, HELLO RACHEL:

 

Check out that gap.

Evel Knievel couldn't jump that thing if he tried.

 And do not worry, 

I was just as special and dumb as I looked.

 Here's a little questionnaire I filled out

as a fresh little 3rd grader.

 Please pay close attention to the following:

• I most liked "spelling" in school, a close second to "readding"
• An interesting place I had visited? Sun Splash...in Mesa, AZ.
• If I could've been a famous person, I wanted to be *NSYNC
• My favorite celebrity? "98|:" AKA 98 Degrees.  

 

Oh, it gets better.

Here is a "Planning for Personal Success" chart I also found.

When asked what I dream of doing for a job,

I answered

"I want to work at Sonic, but I might be a dentist"

Priorities, duh.

By the looks of this country report on Japan,

even working at Sonic may be too lofty a goal.

 

 Yes, there is still much to learn about Japan because I obviously did not try to learn 

anything important about it in the first place.

So what if I was dumb.

At least I wasn't also narcissistic.

Oh wait...

I personally think that +1 point was two points too generous.

I'm proud to say I grew out of that phase though.

I matured into a beautiful young lady

and wrote beautiful and thoughtful essays

to my parents on Mother's and Father's Day...

for mom

 

for dad

...or I simply copy and pasted the essay

and just changed

"mom" to "dad" and "potato salad" to "BBQ".

While we're on the subject of not growing up,

here's a physics test

from my junior year of high school.

 

Big teeth.

Sorely confused as to what constitutes a celebrity.

Fast-food industry dreams.

Blind to the true beauty of Japanese culture.

Conceited egomaniac.

Cookie-cutter essay writer.

Horrible test-taking flirt ball.

And now a hoarder.

What. A. Resume.