Confession Wednesday: Faizon Love Edition

Confession #4:

I get starstruck.

Like, really starstruck.

This happens to really suck because I have totally awesome luck

and seem to see celebrities everywhere.

Sadly, I am the Phil Dunphy of meeting celebrities...

just watch this clip from Modern Family

to understand the reference.

 

Yep.  I just choke and don't know what to do.

When I met Travis Barker, all I said was "oh hi." 

Read about that HERE

When I met Foster the People, I said nothing at all

while I had eye sex with the drummer.

Read about that HERE 

When I met Dierks Bentley, I had to google how to say his name

I never wrote about that story, but to read an article about

a woman who stabbed her boyfriend over cheating during a Monopoly game, 

click HERE

ANYWAY...

like I said, I meet famous people and I freeze up.

It happened tonight.

Me and my homegirl Michele

went to our local ghetto sketch Safeway in downtown Phoenix

to buy 20 pounds of oranges

for a Student Nutrition Council event.

We got to the register and after loading 

enough citrus to put Tropicana out of business

on the conveyor belt,

I looked up and noticed 

the man checking out in front of us

was no ordinary man.

It hit me.

Me: Michele, have you seen Elf??

Michele: Uh, like once I think.

Me: What?? You've never seen Elf?

Michele: Well I don't really remember it.

Me: I think that guy's in it. That guy's in it.

Michele: What???

Me: He's totally been in a movie. He's the security guard in Elf!!!

Michele: No way, google him!

(yes, we are standing right next to the man who can hear all of this)

Me: I forget what his real name is. 

And "black security Elf guard" is giving me no results.

In fact it's only pulling up pictures of white guys.

Michele: He's totally in another movie too.  I just can't remember!

(at this point I take a picture of him)

We proceed to be as annoying as possible

while we purchase our oranges.

We get out to the parking lot and watch him get into his car

(which was parked right next to us!)

and might I add that it was a

tripped-out

sugga-daddy

pimp-my-ride-worthy

C A M A R O

with a Cali license plate. 

By this point, we are 93% positive he is the dude from Elf 

and realize he also played the naked black guy in Couples Retreat.

We call Michele's boyfriend and figure out his real name

so we can quit calling him

the security guard from Elf/naked black guy in Couples Retreat.

Faizon Love.

BAM.

I wanted to make sure it was really him.

So I tweeted Mr. Love, no high hopes of a response though.

But he replied. And started following me.

CONFIRMED:

it was definitely him.

 

Sorry again for being so starstruck, Faizon.

Maybe one day I'll learn to control myself

and not be such a freak.

Eh, probably not.