I get starstruck.
Like, really starstruck.
This happens to really suck because I have totally awesome luck
and seem to see celebrities everywhere.
Sadly, I am the Phil Dunphy of meeting celebrities...
just watch this clip from Modern Family
to understand the reference.
Yep. I just choke and don't know what to do.
When I met Travis Barker, all I said was "oh hi."
Read about that HERE
When I met Foster the People, I said nothing at all
while I had eye sex with the drummer.
Read about that HERE
When I met Dierks Bentley, I had to google how to say his name
I never wrote about that story, but to read an article about
a woman who stabbed her boyfriend over cheating during a Monopoly game,
like I said, I meet famous people and I freeze up.
It happened tonight.
Me and my homegirl Michele
went to our local ghetto sketch Safeway in downtown Phoenix
to buy 20 pounds of oranges
for a Student Nutrition Council event.
We got to the register and after loading
enough citrus to put Tropicana out of business
on the conveyor belt,
I looked up and noticed
the man checking out in front of us
was no ordinary man.
It hit me.
Me: Michele, have you seen Elf??
Michele: Uh, like once I think.
Me: What?? You've never seen Elf?
Michele: Well I don't really remember it.
Me: I think that guy's in it. That guy's in it.
Me: He's totally been in a movie. He's the security guard in Elf!!!
Michele: No way, google him!
(yes, we are standing right next to the man who can hear all of this)
Me: I forget what his real name is.
And "black security Elf guard" is giving me no results.
In fact it's only pulling up pictures of white guys.
Michele: He's totally in another movie too. I just can't remember!
(at this point I take a picture of him)
We proceed to be as annoying as possible
while we purchase our oranges.
We get out to the parking lot and watch him get into his car
(which was parked right next to us!)
and might I add that it was a
C A M A R O
with a Cali license plate.
By this point, we are 93% positive he is the dude from Elf
and realize he also played the naked black guy in Couples Retreat.
We call Michele's boyfriend and figure out his real name
so we can quit calling him
the security guard from Elf/naked black guy in Couples Retreat.
I wanted to make sure it was really him.
So I tweeted Mr. Love, no high hopes of a response though.
But he replied. And started following me.
it was definitely him.
Sorry again for being so starstruck, Faizon.
Maybe one day I'll learn to control myself
and not be such a freak.
Eh, probably not.