Lyric of the Week: Mom Edition

Like yesterday's post, this Lyric of the Week

is dedicated to my mother.

To read the post that caused my mom to text me this:

 Click HERE  

and enjoy reading it as much as she did.

Obviously I'm pretty obsessed with my mom, as is she with me.  

She loves 

when I push out my stomach like a knocked up teen in public

and 

when I eat her leftover Olive Garden breadsticks

and 

when I dance all up on her unexpectedly.

The Lyric of the Week comes from

a little number I deemed

her theme song a few years ago.

Not only do I sing it to her whenever I see her,

the song has a great beat

so obviously the singing

is accompanied 

with dancing...great dancing I might add.

"Hey Mami, You sexy
Hey Mami, you beautiful
Hey Mami you sexy
Hey Mami, can I get that number?" 

As heard in FannyPack's ballad Hey Mami 

 

Susan D. Crazy

This post is about my mother.

Don't be fooled by her good looks and charming ways...

she's crazy weird, people.

She will probably

murder me 

after finding out about this post, so in the event of that happening 

• I leave my snowboard to Alecia
• I request the ASU vs. UofA football game be dedicated to me
• I want confetti and Taco Bell somehow incorporated into my funeral

Allow me to tell you about her...

 

I called her a few months ago to "chat" like mother and daughter.  The phone rang a couple times and was abruptly answered 

with a grumpy/violent/heartless

"WHAT, Rachel!!??!!??!?!??!??! #^$%&^%#"

She sounded so angry

you'd have thought someone had just stolen her car

and

  permanently cancelled Project Runway.

I quickly inquired what was wrong.

Her reply?

"You interrupted my game of Angry Birds".


I prayed that phone call was a one time deal 

and the Angry Birds obsession was just a phase.

When I looked down at my phone a few weeks later

and saw she was calling me,

I answered with those hopes in mind.

Suzie-Q: Hi sweet daughter of mine.

Rach: Why hellllo.  What are you up to?

SQ: I'm outside Trader Joe's.

R:  Oh nice are you grocery sho...

SQ: Those are the tightest pants I've ever seen.

R: (silence)

SQ: I can't quit staring.

R:  Huh?

SQ:  This guy, oh my, you can see everything.  He must work here, he's moving carts and wearing a Trader Joe's vest.

R:  Yeah he might work there.

SQ:  Sorry, what were you saying?

R:  I was going to ask if you were about to grocery shop.

SQ:  Ohhhh...no.  I'm just reading my book in the parking lot.

R:  (silence)

SQ:  It's nice and quiet here, good for reading.

R:  (silence)

SQ:  Now I'm looking at this lady who as the biggest wedgie I've ever seen.  Some Good Samaritan needs to go up and pull it out for her.

R: You are sitting in a random parking lot with no intention of going inside and shopping like a normal person...you are in no place to comment on others.

SQ: (unfortunately very brief silence)

SQ:  At least I'm not playing Angry Birds and commenting on others.

Told you, weirdest mom ever.  

:)

But I sure do love you, mami.

Although you constantly make fun of my gangster-ness...

 Baby, I was born this way.

and you can't help but laugh at my

rap star dreams...

...I know EXACTLY where 

all that talent 

comes from. 

Although I think 

you are crazy as all get out

I like being like you.

 

I'm swimming upstream in a pretty shallow gene pool, but thank you for all you've given me, lady.

  

Lyric of the Week

Remember how last week was my birthday?

Yeah, I remember too.

Remember how I asked for 

a stripper pole and the Wheel of Fortune Board Game

and have yet to receive either?

Yeah, I definitely remember that too.

This song is one of my favorite songs of all time but furthermore it was also my birthday anthem.  

Mostly because it says 'birthday' a few times. 

Also, the song is called Birthday.

Just listen to it and fall in love with it too.

It's such a sexy song.

I used to think when they sing "we're gonna gather around"

they were saying "we're gonna get around"

[like it's yo burfdayyyy]

and I loved how HOT that was!

Turns out they aren't saying that

but it doesn't make the song any less sexy.

Lyric of the week:

we're gonna come together, we're gonna celebrate

we're gonna gather around like it's your birthday

i don't wanna know, just what i'm gonna do

i don't care where you're going,

i'm coming along with you

As heard in Kings of Leon's Birthday

 

Yo Quiero

Confession: 

I eat at Taco Bell.

Confession: 

It got me in legal trouble once and I wrote about it HERE

Confession: 

I still love it.  

I know as a Dietetics student I should know better, but 
just calm down, people.
In all fairness, Taco Bell was at the Food & Nutrition 
Conference and Expo
(go read about that HERE)...

 ..and look how abnormally excited I was about it. 

I am constantly trying to wean myself off

but just when I think I'm done

they pull me back in

with crap like this

And this

Oh and this too

That last video is actually a perfect transition into what I experienced last night, courtesy of TB's new XXL Chapula

Exibit A

 

 Exibit B

Exibit C

My family is so proud. 

FNCE 2011: San Diego

Remember a few weeks ago when I posted

from the Omni Hotel lobby in San Diego HERE 

and promised you all one Big A post about FNCE?

Well it finally is here!

 Let’s start with what FNCE is.

It’s the annual Food and Nutrition Conference and Expo 

put on by the American Dietetic Association (ADA). 

    

Let’s also talk about how I ended up there.

I’m part of the Student Nutrition Council (SNC) 

at Arizona State

serving as the ADA Liaison for the University.

Along with my homegirl Stephanie Kolloff,

we formed a FNCE committee, wrote up a proposal, and asked for money from ASU's

Undergraduate Student Government 

to send our nine Executive Board members 

and three additional nutrition students

(selected through an essay contest we set up) 

to the conference.

Click HERE to read an article 

I was interviewed in

about the funding request process and the SNC's experience with it. 

There's even a picture...

I'm the one on the right decked out in business casual 

A.K.A. midlife crisis mom outfit.

Let’s make a long story short.  
We were thrilled and overwhelmingly grateful to be granted
$9,000 in funding to travel to and attend FNCE

and a few weeks

(and several hours of budgeting, planning, and hard work...
We did it Steph! Dynamic duo for life!) 
later,

we flew out for the conference.

Here’s our foxy fine looking group

Here’s the area and hotel we stayed in...ahh-maze-ing.

Here's the Convention Center in Downtown SD where everything took place.  Again, aaaamazing!

At the opening ceremony

(in a huge room crammed full of people from all over the world)
we were present as history was made
and the ADA name was changed
from American Dietetic Association
to The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics.
Kinda sexy, right?

Nancy Brinker, founder of Race for the Cure 

and 

sister of Susan G. Koman, spoke and presented.

   

Throughout the rest of the conference, I was able to network with some very important individuals and meet some of my favorite people in the nutrition world.  The internship director at Tufts University was one such important person, as well as a recent graduate from the combined master's and dietetic internship program there and a current student enrolled in that same program.  

Oh Tufts, get ready for me.

(Oh student loans, please be gentle)

The networking didn't stop with the great people from Tufts though...

First and foremost, I met one of my favorite nutrition authors, Evelyn Tribole.  I am a huge fan of and believer in the Intuitive Eating movement, so when I saw it was on the schedule as a lecture topic I naturally freaked out and pranced over to the room where the seminar would be located.  Upon arriving in that lecture hall, I looked up and realized I was about to be taught by Evelyn.  
Oh my gosh.  
I was so happy, you woulda thought 

I had just seen Dave Matthews and Justin Bieber at the same time.  

Who knew I was such an

Evelyn Tribole groupie/big time embarrassment to mankind. 

Not only that, but I just so happened to have her book in my purse, like seriously when does that ever happen?! 

 The stack of literature behind are all books I received free at FNCE and are all signed by their authors who I was able to meet!

 I love how she dated it FNCE 2011...

it's a reminder to me of my journey as a dietetic student

since I bought and read the book

as a freshman in 2009 

 

I met other people, too. 

ADA Liaison for ASU Rachel A. Cassinat

and

ADA President Sylvia A. Escott-Stump

finally meet

 Michele, me, and Danielle with

Margaret Pipkin Garner

recipient of the Marjorie Hulsizer Copher Award

 Keri Gans, signing her book "The Small Change Diet"

while commenting on how awesome my nail color was.

She was right, I have great taste in nail polish.

 My boss/professor at ASU Dr. Chris Wharton reppin' the special interest group 

Hunger and Environmental Nutrition at the Expo

 U.S. Polo Team.

YUM.

That dude was almost as big a flirt ball as me.

Later I caught glimpse of that nice wedding ring as I scrolled through pictures.

Yeah, I don't want to talk about it either.

 Me, the nutritionist for NBC's show The Biggest Loser, and a ginormous bowl of guacamole.  Only way to have made me happier right then would have been if Kid Cudi jumped out of no where are serenaded me. 

 Two of the leading women in the eating disorder field.  I actually worked up some bravery in this lecture and asked a two part question at the end...I know, I know...BALLER STATUS.  Who wants to date me now?!

 Janet Helm, writer and founder of Nutrition Blog Network and RD Chat

 Liz Weiss and Janice Bissex, co-bloggers of Meal Makeover Moms 

So many cool people.

So many scarves, Rachel (I mean seriously, girl?).

So much free stuff.

So little sleep.

By the last night, me and my main ladies Michele and Danielle were really starting to feel the wear and tear of the conference, especially since we were up at the butt crack of dawn each day soaking up every last bit of it we possibly could.

On the last night, we decided to stay in, order food from the hotel restaurant, and tackle our 
super procrastinated homework in the lobby.

We changed into sweat pants and free shirts that we got at the conference and headed down to the lobby to start assignments and order food.  As we glanced over the menu, we noticed a girl watching us from inside the restaurant near the hostess table.  We thought maybe she was a waitress, but she was wearing a "hi, my name is..." tag.  Overpowered by hunger and obvious need to attend to our schooling, we shrugged it off.  Finally she approached us, asking if we were part of FNCE.  She explained that upstairs, a private dinner for Clif Bar was about to start and there were a few no shows.  She invited us to take their places.

Uh, yeah.  Can you believe that?!

At first we were hesitant 
(yeah, can you believe that? 
Me? Hesitant about a free three-course meal?)
because of our homework situation and the fact that the restaurant was so nice and we were literally wearing crotch-down-to-the-knee sweats complete with free over-sized conference shirts like this:

Ultimately we labeled
completing homework 
and 
not dressing like homeless people in classy public places 
as severely overrated.  
We realized we might never have this chance offered our way again and ended up attending the dinner, got TONS of free product (we are talking Clif Bars, Luna Bars, children's nutrition products, special products for runners and athletes, hats, shirts, tote bags, water bottles, bumper stickers, etc) and met with some of the most interesting people I have ever had the opportunity to sit down and talk with.  Another free item we received was a copy of the book "Raising the Bar:  The Story of Clif Bar INC" written by the CEO of the company.  The dinner was hosted by the head (and only) Registered Dietitian for Clif Bar, Tara Dellolacono Thies.

After the dinner ended, we retreated back to our hotel room, trying with all our might to comprehend what had just happened to us and how we had managed to be a part of or deserve that rare opportunity.  Then we realized we should run down and have the head dietitian sign the books we were given!  As we raced out of our room to see if by chance she was still downstairs, we turn down the hall, looked up, and there she was walking towards us.  Turns out our rooms had been diagonal from each other the entire trip.  She invited us into her room where she signed all our books and continued to chat about our hopes as undergraduate students and our goals for making an impact on the world through nutrition now and in the future.

Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken Noodle Soup for the Soul books, spoke at the closing ceremony

Shortly after we all flew home

What a trip.

Told you this would be one Big A post.

My fabulous friend Michele put together an awesome video of the trip, complete with interviews with some of the amazing people we came in contact with (Tara and Melinda, women we met at the dinner I mentioned, are featured in the video).

 I myself am interviewed, in the middle and at the very end!!! 

I talk about Tufts (big surprise), what FNCE taught me, and how the whole experience opened my eyes to all the nontraditional paths out there for Registered Dietitians to take and ways I can utilize my creativity, ideas, and passion to better the world.

To see Michele's video from FNCE 2010 in Boston
which focused more on preparing adequately for dietetic internships, click HERE

I will never forget FNCE 2011.

See you at FNCE 2012 in Philly, baby!!!!!

Lyric of the Week: Nutrition Edition

Make me YouTube famous.

Do. It. Now.

My goal one day is

to take the complex science

of nutrition

and translate it into something totally accessible to the public

that is also

comprehensible, real, and fun.

The Dietary Guidelines for Americans

contain great information and initiatives

but unfortunately they are located

in a 112-page document 

you need the internet to open and read.
Even having internet and being literate isn't enough...
you have to actually be willing to read
all 112 pages
of the darn thing.

Not very helpful for a vast majority of Americans.

This video is just the start, people.

Ohhhhhh yeah.

Here are the beautiful and moving lyrics I wrote:

Dietary guidelines

Dietary guidelines

Dia-diatery guidelines
  
DGA, mine be highlighted in red

Chapter 1 to chapter 6 is memorized up in my head

All yo Doritos and Cheetos increase yo sodium by ten

Like Charlie Sheen that is enough to kill two and a half men

Get on my level, turn up the bass and treble

Eat some peas in a pod, will do magic fo yo bod

The consistency’s soft, no that don’t make you a grandma

Hit up yo local farmer’s market, get yoself a banana

Round, firm, and juicy as hell

I love grapes, OH BABY!  for you my heart fell

Eat em raw or in a smoothie:  be real or be stealthy

It’s really not too hard, people, to make yo life healthy

No matter yo salaries

Balance yo calories

Nutrition ain’t scary, it can even be cool

Improve yo intake right now: don’t be a food fool!

I’m da Funky Fresh Farmer and I wanna say

Fruit and veggies be “in” and they here to stay!!!!!

ps...all rights reserved, cassinasty
pss...this was filmed in public
psss...I found those overalls in my father's closet 

21 years and not much to show for it

Today is my 21st birthday, bizzzitches.

I had high hopes as a kiddo that I would at least 

increase cup sizes,

grow out of my 12-year old boy sense of humor,

and start dating Enrique Iglesias

by the time I reached this advanced age.

Obviously, none of those have come true.

Like my life goals, not much else about myself has changed either

and

there is photographic evidence of it.

Allow me to explain...

This beautiful, amazing, and compassionate woman

 let this guy talk her into marrying him 

They thought it would be a good idea to have a baby together.

This baby's name was Rachel.  I'm referring to myself when I say Rachel.

It's me, Rachel.

At first glance, you'd think I was the sweetest little nugget ever to be sent down from the heavens to grace the face of this planet

BUT...

Then I learned to make this face

And I haven't stopped

I learned how to stick out my tongue

 And kinda haven't closed my mouth since

I learned the art of the stank face

As you could probably guess, that face still exists as well

I quit wearing pants

And I never put them back on

So photogenic

Still so photogenic

At a young age, I developed a strong sense of fashion, particularly in the lens-less eyewear department

Obviously my level of taste and classiness is still at an all-time high

Again, I knew my best angles and how to make 

the most attractive faces for pictures

(did my mother really spell "grandpa" wrong?  And why did we take so many pictures like this in the first place?)

 

Ahhh, almost identical

Put yo arms in da air, girl

 Keep em in da air for 19 years, girl

 

I know, embarrassing.

In all seriousness though, where I am in life right now amazes and humbles me everyday.

I am so blessed.  

My family and friends are top-notch. They have all helped make

*this birthday so great.

*...could be an even better birthday if someone would actually buy me the freakin' stripper pole I've been requesting forever now

(preferably the Kendra Wilkinson Sport X-pole, yeah I've done my research) 

Haha kidding, sort of...