Confession Wednesday: Blackmail

Confession #13:

Apparently, I have a folder on my computer titled

"BLACKMAIL"

I do not remember when or why I made this file

but it is filled to the brim of compromising photos...

mostly photos of

me.

Yeah,

why the heck do I have more 

blackmail

on myself

than anyone else??

I don't know why this is the case at all,

but I'm not afraid in the slightest to

embarrass myself

and show these bad boys off.

So here are some of the best

(or worst...depending on how you look at it)

photographs I found in said file.

It definitely made me reminisce about my past...

That time in my teen years when I apparently weighed about 5148 lbs

Double chin win...this was pre-fatbooth days 

That time I was a really fabulous role model

Teaching Bella the ways of the street corner 

That time I went to school dressed like this and it wasn't Halloween

I can't even fathom a caption here 

That time I went to a Mormon function and took a western photo

Was I pregnant? I look like the freaking Grinch...am I right or am I right?? 

That time Chelsea "accidently" elbowed me in the face mid-picture

Yeah, I might be crying a little. 

WHO WANTS TO DATE ME NOW????

(This Is Not A) Lyric of the Week

I'm busy writing a personal statement right now, people.

It's due tomorrow.

I should've started it sooner.

I have issues with procrastination.

But that's none of your business.

I do not have adequate time to blog it up today

so please

tide yourself over

with...

1) An Article

about how 

Mick Jagger

was recently named the

International Chubby Bunny Champion

{homeboy can fit "43 extra-puff marshmallows in his mouth at once" the source says}

Enjoy this well-crafted piece of journalism

HERE,

2) A Picture

of me 

at the last ASU football game,

and 

3) A Video 

of the cutest and sassiest nugget

to grace this earth

since

yours truly

singing in an apple store

Hope your Monday night is full of

everything

except

personal statement writing.

ps...

shout out to Taylor.

Hope your dog's 

chronic diarrhea

has calmed down, girl. 

Confession Wednesday: The Price of Fame

This Wednesday is special.

I have

not one

not two

but

THREE

confessions

to share.

Let's get it started.

 Some of you may already know, but...

Confession #10:

 I will soon be famous in

China, England and Angola.

I was filmed today 

for a

Reebok Commercial!!!!

{It will be up on the Reebok website early February

but otherwise will not be on U.S. TV...

hence the ethnic locations for my celebrity presence}

This past summer,

I was in a research study conducted at ASU.

The purpose was to find if there was any difference between

athletically training with 

regular shoes

and athletically training with 

Reebok Easy Tone shoes.

Almost a year later,

the study wrapped up

and Reebok flew people out from

Boston and Sweden

to film a commercial based around the study...

and I was one of three girls 

who got the chance to play a part

in the commercial, holla!!!

The filming took place at the

ASU Polytechnic campus.

Right now,

they are doing MAJOR road construction...

like, it'd be easier to find parking at a Justin Bieber concert.

Thanks to all the road blocks,

I had no way to reach my building in a quick-like manner

and was therefore

running pretty late to set.

 The only parking I could find

was a paid lot

far from the building

and required $1.00 minimum. 

I had exactly 86 cents to spare.

But,

the meter thing didn't accept pennies.

So,

technically I only had 25 cents.

Yeah, I only had a quarter, people.

I'm poor, get over it.

Commercial actors don't get paid as well as they used to.

As I freaked out about how I would get to my building in time

and manage to pay for a parking pass,

I walked passed a car with a 

parking citation

wedged under the windshield.
I'm not sure what went through my head but... 

Confession #11:

I stole a random person's parking ticket 

and put it under my windshield

and made it look like

I had already received a citation

to potentially avoid getting

a ticket of my own.

 

I know,

embarrassing/low/immature/genius.

I planned to put the ticket back under the kind stranger's

windshield after the commercial filming ended.

I mean, he and/or she had already gotten the ticket,

I was just borrowing it for a second, right?

I dashed over to the correct building

just in the nick of time.

They sent me to

"Wardrobe"

 AKA bathroom stall

Then they sent me to 

"Make-Up"

AKA "here's some foundation. Take a swig of Diet Coke and/or coffee and look alive"

And finally it was show time!

  After signing fancy documents and releasing my talent to the world...

...and bidding adieu to the fabulous crew with a double thumbs up...

 

...oh, and collecting loads of free swag...

...I made my way back to my car

to commence operation

praying-pretty-hard-that-my-little-ticket-swap-trick-worked.

Well, blog stalkers,

there's good news and bad news.

Good news,

it worked.

Bad news,

the car I borrowed the ticket from had peaced out.

There went Plan A.

Yes, I stole a ticket off a car at 12 pm that had been written at 8:17 am.

So what? So what?

Plan B was to simply turn in the ticket to

Parking and Transit Services

but those dudes are like ninjas

and I couldn't find them.

Plan C was to hand over the ticket to staff

inside the Memorial Union

but, with all the construction, there was hardly a way to get there.

Plan D was to just bury it in the gravel.

Seriously.

But I just couldn't.

I was trapped

and unsure what to do.

I was feeling

more and more guilty

by the second.

I retrieved the stranger's ticket from its grave

and

I drove away with it in hand.

"If this $50.00 fine is not paid or appealed 

in 14 days,

additional fines will occur."

The words on the ticket would not quit staring at me.

 Ahhhh man.

Then I remembered a New Year's Resolution I made...

"Do a random act of kindness for a random person."  
So... 

Confession #12:

 Ford Ranger owner/fellow parking law violator,  

I sucked it up and 

just sent a check to ASU

to cover your parking ticket.

Sometimes cool things,

like being in commercials,

happen to us.

And sometimes,

we get caught up in the rush of it all and do stupid things,

like steal parking tickets from others.

In the end however,

it's important to

a l w a y s,

not sometimes,

be real enough with yourself

to know

when you have crossed lines

and 

when you

need to fix things.

Maybe paying some random person's ticket

wouldn't make a difference for someone else,

but it did for me.

Maybe most people wouldn't feel guilty

upon returning to find the true ticketed car gone,

but I did and I wanted to fix it.

You might be laughing at me.

It's okay...I'm laughing at me, too.

But you know what...

It kept my day at a high.

It made me crack a smile.

  It made me happy.

Or maybe it was all that

free Reebok swag

that did the trick.

Yeah, you're right.

Probably the swag.

;)

Lyric of the Week: I'm Sorry!

If you are a true blog stalker of mine,

you may remember me promising awhile back that on 

the 14th of every month

I would write a 

Nutrition Rap

and

create a 

music video

and

post about it.

It was a project I was calling

Music & Beets

{believe it or not I copyrighted the name,

try stealing it

and I'll throw golf balls and citrus at your face

    and sue your butt for all you're worth}  

and

you can find that past post

HERE.

If you are too lazy to push the "HERE" link,

this is the type of video you would find there

along with my broken promises.

Yes, I said broken promises.

Why?

Because I made said promises on

November 14th

and failed to post anything 

nutrition related at all on

December 14th

as well as

January 14th.

In my defense,

the 

Music & Beets {don't forget...copyrighted, fools} project

was supposed to be part

of a curriculum I was developing

for a K-12 school in Phoenix.

I was going to do music education with the kiddos

and highlight important food facts through catchy songs.

Are you bored to tears yet?

Long story short,

the project was put on hold

and I got too busy to care about making

gangster nutrition videos

in my rare spare time.

For that,

I'M SORRY.

And you have to forgive me.

Why? 

Because you can't stay mad

at someone as cute as me.

Obviously.

 you (blogstalker)= the dude

me (Rachel) = the adorable toddler nugget

Now my goal is to simply post something

nutrition related

on the 14th of every month.

We'll see how that goes!

But for now,

here's a blogpost promise I'm good at keeping...

Lyric of the Week.

"I just poured my heart out
there's bits of it on the floor
And I take what's left of it and rinse it under cold water
And call him up for more"

 

As heard in Maria Mena's

I'm Sorry

I'm also sorry there will be less photographs like this...

 

withdrawals are hard but necessary.

Confession Wednesday: Jungle Fever

Confession #9:

I did something really stupid at Pita Jungle.

 

Did you think this confession was going to be about

my deep love for the African American race?

While my closeness to chocolate is no secret,

this confession is about a different

Jungle Fever.

I went to dinner with

my friend and girl crush

Britt Babeface Linde

 {blog stalk her HERE}

 at Pita Jungle late last week.

We decided to eat there because

we love it

{jungle feeeeva, yeah!}

but mostly because

I just so happened to have a 

gift card.

 

I also had coupons for free hummus.

I handed them over proudly to the waitress.

 

"I apologize, but if you read the coupons, these are only good at one location."

 

Britt and I were not at that location.

 

STRIKE ONE.

 

 

Regardless, we ordered food

and chatted about how we both feel that we are

growing up

maturing

figuring life out

getting older and wiser

gaining more knowledge

     etc etc etc.     

"Being real adults"

was literally the theme of our dinner.

Time passed, we handed over our credits cards, paid and left.

We get to Britt's car and begin to pull out of the parking lot.

I realized I am not holding my phone.

I am holding Britt's phone.

But where is my phone?!

Still making our way out of the parking lot,

we call it but hear no ring or vibrating noise coming from

within the car.

"Holy %$#@*&?@& I think I left it on top of your car!!!"

 

Britt breaks to a dead stop and 

a frantic search party of two jump out.

No phone in sight.

"Rach, run inside Pita and check there

while I circle the parking lot looking on the street!"

 

I ran in to find some of the Pita Jungle staff

waiting for me.

 

"Oh good! You must have my phone? I'm sorry about that!"

 

"Uh yes, we have your phone..."

 

STRIKE TWO.

 

 

...but you also left your credit card. Both of you did, actually." 

 

STRIKE THREE. 

 

 

How. Embarrassing.

Like honestly,

we were talking about how mature the two us of were

over hummus

{that we had to pay for because 

we didn't read our stupid coupons thoroughly enough...

something an ADULT would have done}

and then

we go and leave our cards and my phone in the restaurant.

 

Real grown up.

 

And to top it off?

I totally forgot to use my

gift card.

 

ANNNNND I'M OUT.   

Lyric of the Week: Phoenix Edition

I live 

in Downtown Phoenix

and

I love

it

 very very very

much.

{Don't worry there's a lyrical phrase and song coming...

just keep scrolling for a couple days 

and you'll get there}

Last semester I pulled an all-nighter

to complete an important lab-coat notebook

for 

Medical Nutrition Therapy.

Stupidly, I began the project the day before it was due

when I should've started it, well, at the beginning of the semester.

Ooops.

Needless to say, I stayed up the entire night

digging up information on

nutrition for patients with

AIDS, cancer, burns, chronic diarrhea,

etc etc etc

and

I beat the sun in saying good morning to the earth.

Due to absolutely no shut eye

and 

mass consumption of 5 Hour Energy and Dr. Pepper,

{a combo that should be illegal in the US, Puerto Rico, and Japan}

I was mentally exausted but also slap happy.

I excitedly watched the sunrise from

the top of the AZ Republic ghetto sketch

parking lot.

It was beautiful.

It was so beautiful that,

after watching the sun make its way above the horizon,

I probably should've gone back to bed...

{especially considering the fact that a few hours later I literally crashed

in the middle of class 

and was as coherent as Snoop Dogg on 4/20}

...but at the time I caught a major second wind

and instead decided to go take pictures of my

favorite graffiti

within a few blocks' radius.

Have I mentioned I love graffiti?

Well blog stalkers, this is something you should know.

I named my blog 

after graffiti 

for crying out loud.

Phoenix has some great art spread throughout the city

and I ran around 

like a zombie maniac 

capturing as much of it as possible 

before the lab-coat notebook deadline came upon me

and I had to report to class to submit the darn thing.

ENJOY, people.
 

 

In the song

If I Ever Feel Better

by Phoenix,

"You know I don't want to be clever
To be brilliant or superior
True like ice, true like fire
Now I know that a breeze can blow me away
Now I know there's much more dignity
In defeat than in the brightest victory
I'm losing my balance on the tight rope
Tell me please, tell me please, tell me please..."

The band Phoenix?

Pretty great. 

The city Phoenix?

Even better.